


All For You

by cowboykylux



Category: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, TLJ SPOILERS AHEAD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 09:22:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13028025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowboykylux/pseuds/cowboykylux
Summary: Kylo Ren knows things can never go back to the way that they were, but he's hopeful that things can be better than they ever dared to dream.





	All For You

**Author's Note:**

> !!! MAJOR TLJ SPOILERS AHEAD !!!
> 
>  
> 
> With the release of the film, i just could NOT resist writing a little something!! I know many have not seen the movie yet, so please, don't continue on if you'd like to remain spoiler free!!   
> Enjoy!

Things were different now.

 

He didn’t know where to begin. That wasn’t entirely true -- if he were being honest with himself, he knew what he needed to do and exactly how to do it, but he was unsure if Hux would allow it, or even consider it.

Kylo stood there, outside of Hux’s door, pacing for what felt like an eternity, his boots scuffing the floor in tracks that would be visible for all passersby to see, his fists clenching in his leather gloves. He knew he would have drawn blood from his palms had he not been wearing them, and was grateful for this small layer of protection from himself.

He wished he could afford Hux the same luxury, but here he was. Outside Hux’s room. Sick with the guilt that harbored in his chest.

It was times like these that Kylo almost wished he hadn’t despised living with his parents when he was Ben Solo; being surrounded by other people who could experience normal lives. He certainly could use that sort of experience now, he thought, as he tried to put words to the feeling that weighed his chest, had been suffocating him ever since his fingertips touched Hux’s soft skin.

 

He knocked.

 

It took him a moment to realize that he had never physically knocked on Hux’s durasteel door before, that it was an archaic notion. It must have caught Hux by surprise as well, for he stunned Kylo into stillness by speaking from the other side of the door.

“Who’s there?” Hux’s voice was suspicious, as if he couldn’t believe anyone would come to the chambers of the General. He was right to be cautious, no one ever did. No one aside from Kylo.

“It’s me.” Kylo said in response, only loud enough for Hux to hear through the steel.

There was a long moment where Kylo was sure Hux would walk away, leave him out in the corridor all night in silence. Kylo would have, he would have stood there with his back straight until Hux decided he had suffered enough. Whatever it took, Kylo would do.

The doors opened then, and there he was, in his beautiful, perfect splendor, and Kylo’s stomach sank. Around his neck were the bruises, already purple and deep, a blooming necklace of pain vivid evidence of Kylo’s wrongdoing. Hux for all his part looked calm and collected – exactly the opposite of how Kylo had behaved.

“Supreme Leader.” Hux said, gaze steady and voice strong, albeit forced. “Come in.”

He stepped aside to give Kylo room, and Kylo didn’t dare breathe, didn’t dare _blink_ until he was safely across the threshold of Hux’s quarters, a place where conversation had stretched on until dawn, a place where lazy wine flavored kisses had been exchanged, exchanged for love even though they never dared to speak the words aloud.

 

Kylo was tired of holding back his words.

 

“I hurt you. Badly. There is no justification for my actions, no explanation I could give that would make what I did right, or okay.” He rushed, sentences coming out disjointed and awkward, wanting to sound sincere but too nervous to control the speed at which he tripped over his own tongue.

“Supreme Lead –” Hux tried to interrupt from his spot on the sofa – that blue sofa, the one that they had shared so many trysts over the years – and Kylo rushed to his side, sitting as close as Hux permitted and gently taking one of Hux’s hands in between his own.

“Kylo, please, call me Kylo.” He begged, voice barely above a whisper. “Hux, you know me better than anyone at all I –”

“Do I?” Hux asked, staring him down. Hux had never been a quitter, and Kylo met his gaze no matter how badly he wanted to hide his face in shame.  

“What?” Kylo asked in return, swallowing hard around the lump that formed in his throat.

“Do I really know you best?” Hux clarified, retracting his hand from Kylo’s grip. “Lately I’ve felt like I don’t know you at all. The scavenger girl, and more importantly your desperate attempts for her to join you painted a very clear picture.”

Kylo frowned, _Rey?_ It dawned on Kylo, that he had never actually told Hux his plan, his mind unsafe from Snoke’s probing the way Kylo’s was. He had been a fool, of course Hux would be upset, to anyone who didn’t know, it probably looked like Kylo was _interested_ in the girl.  

“I needed her to help me kill Snoke, to distract him. You weren’t there when it happened, he was monologuing to her, it was the perfect opportunity. I wanted her to join usso she might use her strength for _your_ cause, not against it.” Kylo tried explaining, watching Hux’s shoulders relax with each word.

“Do you remember,” Kylo continued, looking down at his hands, those scarred knuckles that Hux had so sweetly patched up all those years ago, “That trip we took to Naboo? Where we sat underneath the stars, and I said, ‘one day I will give all these, all of them, to you?’”

 

Hux’s eyes widened just a fraction, and he quickly blinked and looked away. Of course Hux remembered, Kylo could see it in his mind, the soft fields of bright green grass, the waterfalls that sprayed a rainbow of foam. They had runaway for a month, took a shore leave that they probably shouldn’t have, and slipped away to the most remote part of a planet Kylo might have ruled one day. Funny how now, he technically did.

They had sat on a picnic blanket to watch the sunset, and when the stars came out, he swore they all came to say hello to Hux. Kylo had been convinced then, that the stars knew, that one day they would all bend to Hux’s every whim, whatever it was. It felt so long ago, that decision that Kylo had made, that he would hand this power to Hux, no matter what the cost.

 

Hux was still looking away from him, his hands shaking. Kylo reached out and took them in his own once more, rubbing calming circles on Hux’s smooth skin.

“Surely you must know, all that I do…” Kylo whispered, chest tightening, “Is for you.”

“Throwing me against the wall, was that for me?” Hux asked. He didn’t sound angry, only resigned, and that was somehow much much worse.

“No, that was inexcusable. And unforgivable.” Kylo replied immediately, not wanting Hux to think he was mocking him. Hux was always telling him that there were consequences for his actions, he wanted to prove that he had listened.

“I would have said it you know, had you given me a moment longer.” Hux said, looking at their joined hands, before looking up at Kylo with those ridiculously beautiful eyes of his. “I would have called you Supreme Leader willingly.”

“I am a failure in the eyes of nearly everyone I’ve ever met. My parents, my uncle, my master, the scavenger, and for a moment, I was terrified of you thinking me a failure too. In my fear, I became that very thing.” Kylo sighed, the thing clawing in his chest growing larger and more painful.

Hux stood up and moved to stand in front of Kylo, taking advantage of the momentary height difference to consider Kylo for a long while before speaking.

“You are reckless…emotional, angry, a pain in my arse and a great many other things. But a failure is not one of them.” Hux whispered, prompting Kylo to immediately stand and place a tender hand on his cheek.

“Rule with me.” Kylo said, taking his other hand and placing it on Hux’s other cheek.

“…What?” Hux asked, breathlessly, incredulously.

“I told you I’d give you the stars Hux. Rule by my side. Be my Emperor, the one this galaxy needs.” Kylo was too nervous to smile, too scared of rejection to hope, but he could feel the flicker of power in Hux’s mind, that hunger for order that has driven this man for over thirty years.

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” Hux said, but he may as well have said _don’t tease me._  

“I don’t want this title if I can’t share it with you. You are brilliant, you are fit to lead armies into raging battles, yet levelheaded enough to face me head on. You are the _Starkiller,_ Hux, the most powerful person in the galaxy.” Kylo pressed his forehead against Hux’s, and relished the feeling of Hux’s brow relaxing from the contact, it had been too long since they had touched one another with gentleness.

“And I don’t even wield the Force.” Hux quirked a nervous smile of his own.

“Yes, you _do_.” Kylo took his hands off Hux’s face to pull Hux’s palms to Kylo’s own chest, where the heartbeat was strong.

“When you were on the floor in the throne room, I thought about killing you.” Hux smiled. “Went for my blaster.”

“I can read minds, you think about killing me at least twice a day.” Kylo smiled back, prompting Hux to let out a chuckle, a sound that Kylo would have brought the galaxy to its knees to hear once again. “I truly am sorry for how I treated you. I swear on my life you will never come to harm again.” Kylo apologized, and Hux just closed his eyes, a silent acceptance that Kylo did not deserve.

“We barely managed to co-command a star destroyer, what makes you think we can co-command the galaxy?” Hux asked stepping impossibly closer to Kylo, all his thoughts scrambling for plans, preparations to be made, designs for _crowns_ and _robes_ and _thrones._

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been trying to wipe out anyone that stands in your way.” Kylo pointed out, making Hux laugh outright, the sound bouncing off the walls in their silent sector of the ship, being stored away in Kylo’s memory for all eternity, wishing he could bottle up the sound and keep it for when the dark days come.

He had tried, but there were still some left, still some in their way that needed to be dealt with. Hux brought Kylo’s hand up to his throat, fit the fingers perfectly over the bruises in a harsh reminder.

“You will spend a lifetime making this up to me,” Hux said, and Kylo nodded immediately, “But for right now, I want you to hold me. It’s been far too long.”

Kylo scooped him up into his arms and walked them backwards to Hux’s room, where he laid him down on the freshly laundered cotton sheets that Hux so loved, and wrapped himself around his lover, his _Emperor_ , with all his might.

_Kiss me._ Hux demanded inside Kylo’s head, making the Supreme Leader grin.

“Is that an order?” He asked, a playful spark in his eye. Before Hux could speak, Kylo leaned in and they kissed until they were out of breath, until the shaking in Hux’s hands had stopped, until the tears came and went.

 

Yes, things were different now.

But it was for the better, of that, Kylo was sure.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so so much for reading! I'm so looking forward to spending another 2 years in this fandom, I hope to see you all there with me :)   
> If you'd like to chat about the movie, or these boys, or anything in general, please feel free to find me over on tumblr @cowboykylux !! <33


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